Life // Things I'm afraid to tell you...


If you've been clicking around the blogosphere recently, you may have seen Jess's Things I'm Afraid To Tell You post that Ez turned into a "movement", and now my dear friend and fellow blogger Meg Biram (of MIMI + MEG) has gotten another group of gals together who thought it might be interesting to add to the conversation.  It seems like the move towards a more transparent and honest way of blogging is something that we may start to see more often, and even though it may look like I know how to style up an outfit or put a blog post together, it doesn't mean that I live in some perfectly designed life.

Sharing these little snippets of my personal life with you is not meant to elicit any response or pity (I'm even tempted to turn off the comments), but instead it's meant to show that we're all real people with our own issues, and having a blog does not make us immune to any part of the "real" world.

So without further ado - Some stuff that I would ordinarily be afraid to tell you, after the jump...

  • I'm not as healthy as I may seem.  I love eating healthy and talking/writing about nutrition and fitness, but I have a few unfortunate chronic health issues that I've been dealing with for the past several years.  Specifically over the last six months or so, some new stuff has cropped up that is physically painful and obnoxiously affects my day to day life, and no doctors have really been able to figure out what is wrong with me yet.  This is embarrassing to me because of my keen interest in wellness, and I can't seem to help but feel like a Debbie Downer by talking about it with those who are close to me (including you guys).
  • I struggle with anxiety and depression.  Due to some of the ongoing physical issues I've encountered (especially my significant hormone imbalance) combined with significant life-changes/trauma, I've had some real ups and downs in the mental health realm, as well.  I've been on and off multiple different anti-depressants (off for the last almost-two-years, though!), but I still struggle with occasional panic attacks and intense depression symptoms.  Things feel mostly under control for the time being, but I sometimes feel like I could "break" at any moment, and I hate living in fear like that.  I also hate that my precious husband takes the brunt of these ups and downs, and although he's the best at calming me down, I end up with a TON of guilt when an attack hits and he's nearby.
  • I'm ridiculously hard on myself when it comes to my work.  My business is very project oriented, which means that I naturally have periods of time that are slower than others.  When things aren't quite as busy as normal (or as busy as I'd like them to be), I tend to beat myself up about my career.  I know that I don't deserve that after working so hard to position myself in a job doing something that I love so much.  I've been noticing recently that I "punish" myself into working harder, by using negative self-talk and unfairly comparing myself to others, and that is SO not okay.  I'm so thankful for my career, but being a creative entrepreneur is ridiculously competitive and I think that working for myself for the past 2.5 years has somehow made me hold myself to an unattainably higher standard than I should.

Welp, there you have it!  Phew... That was really difficult to type all of that out, but that's exactly the point of the post, and thanks for even getting this far if you're still reading. :) I'm so grateful to have a space to share snippets of my life here with you, and want to thank you in advance for your understanding and compassion.  If I can encourage even just one other person by helping them to know that they're not alone in struggling with any of the above, then the squirming this post is causing me is totally worth it.

I'd definitely recommend that you to take a peek at the posts of the other bloggers participating in this most recent round (listed below), and if you'd like to join in the movement, feel free to share your own "scary bits" here in the comments.

List of participating bloggers for Wave No.2
Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor's Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It's Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

Here are the bloggers that participated in Ez's Wave No.1 of Things I'm Afraid To Tell You:
Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope's Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda's Musings | Mo' Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty's Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea

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