Life // Vulnerability Hangover

June 18, 2015

kitty + cacti Every once in a while (meaning nearly every day) I find myself oversharing to a friend, family member or innocent bystander.

The intentions behind it are pretty straightforward, but I sometimes find myself trying to lasso back my herd of words out of embarrassment or regret.

Being an open book gives you lots of ways to connect with others, but occasionally, I notice that I’ve forgotten my boundaries and it makes me worried that I’ll be placed aside with my pages askew.

G and I recorded a new episode of Marriage is Funny last night, and I really don’t know if everything I blurted out (ok, blubbered) will be included in the final version of the show. We’re still trying to define which layers of our relationship are off limits, and as comfortable as I am with transparency, I woke up this morning with the sinking feeling I may have gone a little too far.

The funny thing is, I LOVE a chance to share sincerely to whoever will listen, but being honest on the internet is a tricky business.

Words must be placed just-right before anyone consumes them, and if someone does decide to disagree (which is totally fine), you are rarely afforded the chance to have a healthy discussion before being judged and dismissed. (Or completely torn apart, if we’re being honest.)

Relationships are one of the five key ingredients that I guide clients through in my lifestyle design sessions, and one of the things that I hear over and over is the assumption that I “probably wouldn’t understand” a certain struggle because my life/relationships/career appear on the surface to be swimming along quite well.

This is FAR from the truth (and listening to our podcast will prove it), but at the same time — I can understand why the internet version of Jessie Pepper might cause a new friend to feel like I may not “get what they’re going through.”

In case you were wondering:

I have body image hang-ups.

I have broken relationships.

I have health issues.

I have career anxieties.

I have mental breakdowns.

BUT (Big ol’ but…)

I am also incredibly blessed by a God who loves me and created me to be just the way that I am.

Embracing and sharing both the tear-soaked moments and shiniest treasures is something that I am constantly challenged by, but most days — still pinch myself that I get the chance to do it all here with you. :)

XOXO – Jessie Pepper

Image via Camille Styles

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7 Comments

  • Reply Mary @ The Kitchen Paper June 18, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    Thanks for the thoughtful post, Jessie! I’ve been trying to find that balance in my “internet life” right now, too — it’s hard for me to be REAL but also not feel like I’m completely over-sharing. Luckily the feedback (from my readers) when I AM open is positive, and it makes me feel like a real person behind this strange screen. I think your vulnerability is beautiful, and one of the things that I enjoy most about your posts! xo

  • Reply Jessica Thornton June 18, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    YES to every single thing you said. I’m so right there with you.

  • Reply Linda June 18, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    I can totally relate with what you are saying and you put it so eloquently and beautifully really.

    It’s something that’s not easy at all but like you said, but God!

    I think if we are truthful first with ourselves and govern from a safe non judging place, I think that maybe, just maybe we can find the peace We need.

    P.s. Heard you over from the Jess Lively show! ^_^

  • Reply bri June 18, 2015 at 10:47 pm

    oh, jessie, i love how raw and honest you are. you’re totally right though, not everything belongs on the internet and it’s so hard to edit while still being genuine. you’re doing it in style ;)

  • Reply Wells June 19, 2015 at 8:19 am

    HEY! I just found you via Jess Lively, and just LOVE your online space! It’s so so so lovely to find other bloggers who are talking about God, and you do it so naturally. It doesn’t have to be awkward!! LOL.

    Oversharing: Oh. My. Goodness. The other day I caught myself standing in the aisle of Trader Joe’s and telling a poor, unsuspecting employee the gritty details of one of my childbirth stories. Oh. Man. I’m afraid that knowing me in real life, she may never be interested in reading my book! Which is OK, of course; there will be others, but… do I have to just hope that readers won’t find out what I really am?–someone who blabs TMI about childbirth in the grocery store?!?

    How fun that you have a podcast! Going to go find it!

  • Reply Kerri @ Haven Way June 22, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    I’ve been loving your podcast! Thank you to you & G for sharing your stories :)

  • Reply Jenn Giles Kemper September 11, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    Blown away by you, friend. Was missing you guys tonight while we tried your pepper jelly, so I went on an internet scavenger hunt to uncover a few more layers of your heart. This sure is a beautiful one!

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